Saturday, May 31, 2008

Reflections

It is hard for me to fathom but it has been two years since the first seizure Ava had.....two years. I am actually quite amazed with the journey it has been, not one a person can imagine or at least imagine accurately. I think I've embraced all the emotions you navigate through and I am comfortable with where we are but I am still trying to achieve some sort of balance in my life. Balance seems to be the most agonizing struggle for me to date.

In some ways it seems like it was five or ten years ago. The child has never been much of a sleeper and she is over 3' tall and nearing 35 lbs. I certainly go to bed by 10:00 most nights and I look pretty goofy carrying her around since her legs don't have far to go before they catch mine. The good thing is she should be walking on her own soon, she doesn't have good depth perception so it will be interesting. She walks well with minimal assistance from her rifton pacer currently and should have a new one in two weeks (I've been promised, Triple A SUCKS!).

In other ways the past two years have flown by and I have met wonderful folks I would have never crossed paths with if Ava wasn't part of our lives. I have a new 2nd family at the Anchor Center, they even called to be sure we survived the tornado. I've grown to look forward to conversation with all of her in home therapist, seriously, I don't see many adults.

I am still amazed at the amount of support you gain from an event like Strides for Epilepsy. I will post a link to a blog that a friend, of a friend, of a friend, of a friend wrote about the event. The "Super Seizure" boy she is talking about started the walk by sharing a superman blow toy with Ava. It was nice to read an outsiders perspective of our lives and even nicer to feel comfortable around a few thousand strangers.

I think it is important for me to state that no matter how hard any day may seem, when it is all said and done, it is okay and I am GRATEFUL for what I have; even my bag of problems doesn't seem so big at times. Like my friend Heather, I didn't want to go to Holland either (great blog post to read). I'm quite convinced that no one does, it's a very frightening place at first. And really, even though I so hope I'm a tourist...it is a small world after all! I wouldn't trade Ava for the world, she's made me a better, brighter, stronger me. And you just can't argue with that :)

Here are the links to Heather's blog and the friend of a friend of a friend of a friends blog:
http://samsmom-heathers.blogspot.com/2008/03/i-didnt-want-to-go-to-holland.html
http://ordinaryfour.blogspot.com/2008/04/surge-of-love-for-my-kids.html

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